Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Dragonfly At My Window

I know I am tardy in relaying this experience to you but as late as I am, this is very timely and inspiring. Father’s day usually brings dread to me and my family and especially this year because my father was officially released from prison two days before. So I tried to make the day a special day, to offset the negativity. I invited a few relatives over for dinner. That morning, my sister showed up unexpectedly. My daughters and I invited her to go out with us as we shopped for a last minute gift for their dad. My sister’s favorite past time is shopping so we were on. I jumped in the shower, turned the water on, then I heard a loud collective gasp coming from everyone. I didn’t really pay it any mind. I thought it was the usual kiddie antics going on. Then my older daughter ran into the bathroom. “Mommy! You have to see this! A dragonfly!” “A dragonfly? What dragonfly?” She continued. “There is a dragonfly on the window in the living room. You have to come see it!”

“I just stepped in the shower sweetie. I’ll come to see it when I’m done”. I said thinking that it would most certainly fly away by the time I was finished. So I took my time and lathered and showered, got dressed and waltzed into the living room. To my surprise, the dragon fly was still there and my sister and the children were going about their regular business, watching t.v. etc. as if it weren’t there.

“Oh my God. Do you see that dragonfly?!” I said stunned and pointing. The dragonfly was resting on the outside of the window netting, its large greenish iridescent, translucent wings outstretched and its long blue body relaxed. It was the biggest dragonfly I have ever seen.
“That’s what we were trying to tell you.” My sister and my older daughter said.
“Maybe it’s stuck on a web.” I said trying to explain why this dragonfly has been perched outside my window for such a long time. About 25 minutes passed and it didn’t look as if it was leaving anytime soon. And to top it off, it was such a windy day and my apartment being on the top floor of the building, usually got the worst of the whipping winds. I thought for sure it was stuck.

“No it’s not.” My sister said nonchalantly. “We already checked. It’s just looking at us.” And it sure did with those big bulging eyes. I walked closer to it, examining it.

“What does a dragonfly symbolize?” I asked. My sister jumped onto my computer in a flash and surfed the web. Apparently in the Western world, it is looked upon as a bad omen.
“Let’s go to the East.” I said, “They should be more enlightening.”

My sister read on. “In China, the dragonfly is looked upon as good luck. They are a sign that water is near and they are also a sign of renewal after a hard tribulation.”

“That’s it! Oh my God, Renewal after a hard tribulation. That’s it!”

This was a tremendous moment. Like a break in the invisible barrier between knowing and unknowing. Could this dragonfly have been sent as a sign to let my sister and I know that although our father has been released from prison for murdering our mother, this is now the time for renewal? It seemed so fitting that this dragonfly, arrayed in all its beauty, found rest at my window for my children, my sister and I to see on the morning of Father’s Day. It was too meaningful to be coincidence.

We all did some last minute things before we were ready to leave and like a constant friend, that dragonfly stayed on the window until we left. My father’s release initially brought on a deep anger that permeated my being, distracting me at work, at home with my children and it even caused unnecessary tension in my personal life. It gave me headaches, and bodily stress aches that was reminiscent of my tumultuous childhood. But this visit from this striking dragonfly really made me rethink what I was doing to myself. It made me see the need to move on from my chasm of debilitating anger- my hard tribulation to a spring of Renewal. I know that I will probably relapse a little but at least I’m on the right road. Thank you Dragonfly.

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