Monday, February 9, 2009

Rihanna and Chris Brown

There were many ooh's and ah's, exciting moments and disappointments at the Grammy Awards last night, but nothing was more disappointing than the pre-Grammy events starring 20 year old Rihanna and 19 year old Chris Brown. Although both were nominated for 5 awards collectively and were scheduled to perform, neither one showed up forcing last minute fixer-uppers including Justin Timberlake and the legend, Al Green to perform together. The reason: Chris Brown and Rihanna were involved in a domestic violence altercation.

Earlier that morning, Chris and Rihanna can be seen at a Clive Davis event in L.A. looking happy together. But it has been reported that later that evening, when they left together in a car Brown was driving, an argument ensued that got physical. I have read some articles that state that Rihanna now has a bruised face and a bite mark from the incident. After the blow up, Chris Brown fled the seen leaving Rihanna in the car alone. From the car, she called authorities and the hunt was on for Brown. He eventually gave himself up within hours as Rihanna was taken to an area hospital.

A week after Teen Domestic Violence Awareness Week, this unfortunate incident reminds us that Domestic Violence hits all walks of life, all ages, all cultures, all finanical status'. In this day and age, if the allegations are true and they seem more true than not, why is Domestic Violence still a plague upon us? Apparently, Chris Brown has grown up seeing his father abuse his mother but this is by no means an excuse. It's actually a pre-requisite to his illicit behavior. It is a proven fact that children who witness Domestic Violence on a regular basis are taught that it is okay or normal to behave in the way of the abuser or the victim. Not everyone emulates the behavior of their parents or guardians, but it is a difficult cycle to break. Believe me because I am speaking from experience. Watching my father beat my mother (sometimes daily) turned me into a victim for a time as an adolescent and a young woman. Since then, I have broken that dysfunctional cycle but it took alot of work.

Hearing this news story brought back chilling memories to me of my father beating my mother in the family car. I sat in the backseat most times in anguish, feeling helpless and insignificant. Back then I felt like my existence didn't really mean much to my parents since my father couldn't care less if I was present or not. Although my mother knew my father still beat her in front of me, she made it a priority for me to be with her at all times so that he wouldn't beat her as brutally. And she may have been right, but that didn't stop him from murdering her in front of me, but I digress.

It is true that my life experience with Domestic Violence prompted me to comment on the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident, but even more so I was prompted by initial eyebrowing raising comments on internet articles by young women and girls that idolize Brown. The overwhelming majority of comments by these females were in support of Brown. But it wasn't just 'benefit of the doubt support'. I read comments bashing Rihanna. Some stated that they 'heard Rihanna is controlling and jealous', so I guess this means she deserved it. Others stated that 'she probably provoked it because Brown would never hit anyone'. This is a thermometer into the psyche of young women in this new millenium. Anyone who believes that, is a potential victim themselves, period point blank! They might not know it now, but they are already making excuses, blaming themselves for (God Forbid) a potential abuser. In some articles, the writer reported that this prevailing attitude was the main message on Chris Brown's Myspace page, Facebook and other message boards. Scary!

Anyone who professes to love you and hurts you, does not love you at all. If you are a victim of Domestic Violence or know someone who is, please refer to the internet links to the left of this article to get help. Please know, it is not your fault. I will be following this story as it becomes clearer.

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